#010 - [AUDIO]

[amethystsregret]

Shuuichi...? I heard a friend of yours is here. Is everything alright?

Also, thank you for the lesson, Smoker! I had fun!

[ooc: Alright people, I have two muses now. They are going to have that "never in the same place at the same time but still looking" thing going on. Please be kind to Ryuu. We wouldn't want him to get ugly...]

Comments

Re: [Action]

[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

[Tsuzuki took a deep breath. He stared at the wall before him, unable to look at his friend. He hadn't told anyone about that. After everything he'd learned about Ace, he felt like a spineless coward in his shadow. As much as he wanted to help him, the shinigami looked up to the pirate. He didn't want to fall from his favor...]

I told you about the day Luka died, didn't I...?

Re: [Action]

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

A little. [Leans on his friend because he can tell Tsuzuki needs it.]

Re: [Action]

[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

Did I tell you how I blacked out and that I killed everyone in the village...?

Re: [Action]

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

[Tight hugs.] A little.

Re: [Action]

[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

[He had to pause at the memories of when he came to his senses... Gripping his bangs, he fought to keep his expression neutral as the images flashed in his mind.]

[Action]

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

[Hugs.] But you blacked out. And you lost control because they were hurting Luka, right? If someone hurt Luffy I'd do a lot worse than kill an island I think.

[Action]

[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

[His voice was low and distant...]

Would you lick him...?

Re: [Action]

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

[Tilts head to side.] How do you mean?

Re: [Action]

[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

[Gasping, Tsuzuki covered his mouth. He'd said that out loud! Shaking his head, he stammered, trying to redirect the situation.]

Huh?! W-What?! I-I lost my trail of thought...

Re: [Action]

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

[Pokes.] You licked Luka?

Re: [Action]

[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

[Tsuzuki held his breath. He felt like his body went cold. He looked at his hands as they trembled. What would Ace think of him? He hadn't even told him the secret he had originally come to hear!]

Re: [Action]

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

[Hugs again.] Oi. Hey. I'm not gonna drag it out. Just. Don't go thinking I'd think less of you without giving me a chance, all right? Last thing I did when I died was cry all over my kid brother and cling onto him... I don't even know what I'd do if he'd been the one dying. Snapped I guess.

Re: [Action]

[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

[Taking a few deep breaths, Tsuzuki got a hold of his emotions. He blinked back the tears that might have fallen. He stared back at the wall, blankly. He had to hold it together. Just a little while longer...]

Ace... I'm not even that strong... to cry or seek comfort in my fears...

Re: [Action]

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

That's not necessarily a bad thing either Tsuzuki.

[Action]

[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

It destroyed me, Ace...

Re: [Action]

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

[Hugs him.] I'm sorry Tsuzuki.

Re: [Action]

[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

[Tsuzuki stared down at his watchband. What would Ace think if he saw them? Would he still stand by him? Would he think any less of himself? He gripped the watch, debating whether or not he had the courage to show the pirate...]

Re: [Action]

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

Tsuzuki... [Frowns and hugs tighter.] I'm always saying you don't have to worry about it, you know? But I mean it, you don't.

Re: [Action]

[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

[As he began to unlatch his watchband, a tear fell down his cheek. One rebellious tear escaped his will. He tossed the watch on his desk. His wrist facing downward. Clenching his right fist, he slowly turned it over. Visibly deep scars could be seem. Multiple lines streaking across his wrist, obviously meaning several attempts. Tsuzuki couldn't bring himself to speak. The scars would be loud enough...]

Re: [Action]

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

Ace gulped and leaned on his friend tugging him closer and holding him tighter. "Tsuzuki," he pleaded. He'd already had inklings from the last time Tsuzuki got drunk. "You still feel this way?" He held onto his friend tightly, "I don't want to lose you."

Re: [Action]

[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

[He turned to hug the pirate. Tears falling down his face, he tried to speak.]

I... I just... couldn't... bare... the loneliness... She was all I had... and then she was gone... Then those men wanted my abilities... but I couldn't tell them anything... They just locked me away in that hospital... I couldn't take it... Eight years of staring into nothing... from the beginning... I just wanted to vanish!

Re: [Action]

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

[Cries with Tsuzuki and hangs on tighter.]

Don't vanish please Tsuzuki... Luka wouldn't want that... [And now he's crying hard because what if Luffy feels that way now? alskdjalkdjadklj]

Re: [Action]

[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

I didn't know what else to do... I couldn't take the guilt and isolation... I just wanted Luka to hold me... like she always did...

Re: [Action]

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

[HUGS SUPER TIGHTLY.] Wherever she is, I'm sure she's thinking of you and just wanting you to be happy. You shouldn't feel guilty... Please.

Re: [Action]

[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

But... she wouldn't have wanted me to kill either...