#010 - [AUDIO]

[amethystsregret]

Shuuichi...? I heard a friend of yours is here. Is everything alright?

Also, thank you for the lesson, Smoker! I had fun!

[ooc: Alright people, I have two muses now. They are going to have that "never in the same place at the same time but still looking" thing going on. Please be kind to Ryuu. We wouldn't want him to get ugly...]

Comments

[Action]

[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

It destroyed me, Ace...

Re: [Action]

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

[Hugs him.] I'm sorry Tsuzuki.

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[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

[Tsuzuki stared down at his watchband. What would Ace think if he saw them? Would he still stand by him? Would he think any less of himself? He gripped the watch, debating whether or not he had the courage to show the pirate...]

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[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

Tsuzuki... [Frowns and hugs tighter.] I'm always saying you don't have to worry about it, you know? But I mean it, you don't.

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[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

[As he began to unlatch his watchband, a tear fell down his cheek. One rebellious tear escaped his will. He tossed the watch on his desk. His wrist facing downward. Clenching his right fist, he slowly turned it over. Visibly deep scars could be seem. Multiple lines streaking across his wrist, obviously meaning several attempts. Tsuzuki couldn't bring himself to speak. The scars would be loud enough...]

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[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

Ace gulped and leaned on his friend tugging him closer and holding him tighter. "Tsuzuki," he pleaded. He'd already had inklings from the last time Tsuzuki got drunk. "You still feel this way?" He held onto his friend tightly, "I don't want to lose you."

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[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

[He turned to hug the pirate. Tears falling down his face, he tried to speak.]

I... I just... couldn't... bare... the loneliness... She was all I had... and then she was gone... Then those men wanted my abilities... but I couldn't tell them anything... They just locked me away in that hospital... I couldn't take it... Eight years of staring into nothing... from the beginning... I just wanted to vanish!

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[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

[Cries with Tsuzuki and hangs on tighter.]

Don't vanish please Tsuzuki... Luka wouldn't want that... [And now he's crying hard because what if Luffy feels that way now? alskdjalkdjadklj]

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[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

I didn't know what else to do... I couldn't take the guilt and isolation... I just wanted Luka to hold me... like she always did...

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[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

[HUGS SUPER TIGHTLY.] Wherever she is, I'm sure she's thinking of you and just wanting you to be happy. You shouldn't feel guilty... Please.

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[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

But... she wouldn't have wanted me to kill either...

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[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

Happens. [Grim voice.] You can't change the past Tsuzuki. Just grow from it. Pops taught me that.

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[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

I thought I had... Than Muraki and Sagatanasu came along...

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[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

[Hugs super tightly.] What'd they do? [Growly voice and face.]

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[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

[Tsuzuki looked down at his lap. How could he say that Muraki had stripped him of everything and made him want to die again? How could he tell Ace that a demon had invaded his body and tormented him with his past? What was he supposed to say...?]

Do you know... what the Devil's Trill is...?

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[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

Nope. Sounds like a Devil's fruit mixed with birds screeching.

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[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

It's a violin piece written by a demon. It claims the life of the person that plays it. I tried to stop him... It back fired, and the demon possessed my body, trapping me in an illusion that made me remember my past. That was when I started slipping again...

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[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

Oh. [MORE HUGS.] But forgetting it isn't dealing with it either. You have to learn that it's not your fault and stop hating yourself for it.

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[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

How can I do that when I keep hearing those voices...?! Asking... pleading... begging me to tell them why I killed them...! I still have nightmares about that night. But Muraki... He... He called me a demon because of my blood... and that we were the same descendants. I knew I wasn't normal, but I don't want to be a demon!

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[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

[Eyes widen a little and hugs more.]

Tsuzuki... [Very firm growl.] You aren't a demon because of blood or childhood. NEVER that. It... [Clenches teeth and then softens face and voice, hanging head and then leaning it on Tsuzuki's shoulder.] It took me a long time to learn that. Pops... always said it. It just never sunk in. The real demons are humans like... like Blackbeard. Who don't care about loyalty or love or... You're a pretty soft-hearted guy, you know? The last thing from a monster or demon. [Huuuug.]

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[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

Muraki is the most demonic being I have ever encountered... and I've vaniquished two demons in my career... He's... He...

[He grabbed his head as the last, frightful memories of the doctor came back to him. He clung to the pirate, as if such an action would keep Muraki from touching him again.]

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[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

[Protectively hugs Tsuzuki ready to fight anything.] I won't let him hurt you again. I'll do whatever it takes Tsuzuki. I promise.

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[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

[He gasps at the tight embrace. Ace felt warmer than before. It was like being in Suzaku's wings. He felt safe there. He never had been afraid of fire, even in life. He leaned in closer, softly weeping. He believed him...]

Ace... Thank you...

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[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

[Leans head on Tsuzuki's shoulders and blinks back his own tears.] I promise.

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[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

You promise...? I'll hold onto that than...

[He gasps a breath or two.]

I'm sorry...! I'm such a mess...!